Though I will be posting more later, I just have to say that already (not even two chapters into it), I am profoundly affected by this book. If you are keeping up with this blog, you will be hearing a lot about it!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wac-a-Mole and a Sabbath Heart: Mary
The scene is a bedroom.
Sabbath morning. Sleepy eyes. Muted dawnlight. Awakening mind.
WAC!
And that would me, brutally annihilating thoughts of work that are popping up across my mental landscape. My body has not even risen from the warm covers, and already I am inundated with worries, anxieties, plans, questions, reminders...on and on the list goes. Wait, this is supposed to be the Sabbath! No work thoughts. No worries.
And so the Sabbath work begins. Yep, I said it. Sabbath takes work. It is challenging to create the rhythm of rest. Ridding my brain of the burdens of responsibilities is reminiscent of that carnival game, Wac-a-Mole. Just when you pound down one sinister mole who is grinning at you with mockery, another pops up in his place, taunting your incompetency to squelch their annoying presence. And so it goes with my thoughts of work. Lesson planning. Grading. Student worries. Lesson planning. Conversations with colleagues. Grading. Position security. Negative complaining. Lesson modification. Vindictive politics. Mole. Wac. Mole. Wac. There I lay, swinging away with that foam bat, out of breath, and I haven't even risen for the day yet! Paul was not kidding when he used war language to describe the mental battlefield: "Take captive every thought..."
How many of us have our lives ruled by thoughts of work? Our lives are dictated by a job that is suppose to be our livelihood, yet in the end--though it fills our bank account--it repletes our soul. Mine has. It has consumed me, distracted me, tired me. I want to work to live...not live to work. And that is one more reason I need the Sabbath. I need to stop, and then notice, get this, that the world does not stop with me. It goes on. It survives. I am not the axis on which this globe spins. So why do I live like it? Why do I consistently feel the pressure that God has reserved for himself alone?
Not any longer. Sabbath is my pause from work, but more importantly, it is a break from the arrogance that consumes my life. The arrogance that says I have to do it all alone. All perfect. All the time.
Which ties into my next thought for this week. Monday morning as I was driving to work, I felt the strenous tension rise through my legs, through my shoulders, through my heart like the heat of an attack. Not 24 hours removed from the Sabbath, I am already consumed with anxiety for the impending week. And I thought...why does the Sabbath end? Yes, my habits, actions, and activities change; but my heart can remain in that stillness of Sunday, that serenity of Sabbath. And that is what I really want from this year. A Sabbath day yes. But God, please give me a Sabbath heart.
Sabbath morning. Sleepy eyes. Muted dawnlight. Awakening mind.
WAC!
And that would me, brutally annihilating thoughts of work that are popping up across my mental landscape. My body has not even risen from the warm covers, and already I am inundated with worries, anxieties, plans, questions, reminders...on and on the list goes. Wait, this is supposed to be the Sabbath! No work thoughts. No worries.
And so the Sabbath work begins. Yep, I said it. Sabbath takes work. It is challenging to create the rhythm of rest. Ridding my brain of the burdens of responsibilities is reminiscent of that carnival game, Wac-a-Mole. Just when you pound down one sinister mole who is grinning at you with mockery, another pops up in his place, taunting your incompetency to squelch their annoying presence. And so it goes with my thoughts of work. Lesson planning. Grading. Student worries. Lesson planning. Conversations with colleagues. Grading. Position security. Negative complaining. Lesson modification. Vindictive politics. Mole. Wac. Mole. Wac. There I lay, swinging away with that foam bat, out of breath, and I haven't even risen for the day yet! Paul was not kidding when he used war language to describe the mental battlefield: "Take captive every thought..."
How many of us have our lives ruled by thoughts of work? Our lives are dictated by a job that is suppose to be our livelihood, yet in the end--though it fills our bank account--it repletes our soul. Mine has. It has consumed me, distracted me, tired me. I want to work to live...not live to work. And that is one more reason I need the Sabbath. I need to stop, and then notice, get this, that the world does not stop with me. It goes on. It survives. I am not the axis on which this globe spins. So why do I live like it? Why do I consistently feel the pressure that God has reserved for himself alone?
Not any longer. Sabbath is my pause from work, but more importantly, it is a break from the arrogance that consumes my life. The arrogance that says I have to do it all alone. All perfect. All the time.
Which ties into my next thought for this week. Monday morning as I was driving to work, I felt the strenous tension rise through my legs, through my shoulders, through my heart like the heat of an attack. Not 24 hours removed from the Sabbath, I am already consumed with anxiety for the impending week. And I thought...why does the Sabbath end? Yes, my habits, actions, and activities change; but my heart can remain in that stillness of Sunday, that serenity of Sabbath. And that is what I really want from this year. A Sabbath day yes. But God, please give me a Sabbath heart.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Beginning - Dave
So when Mary first brought up the idea of participating in the Sabbath I wasn't quite sure what to think. "The Sabbath". It just sounds weird, immediately bringing forth images from "Fiddler On the Roof" with everyone scrambling around to get things done before the sun sets. That was definitely not for me. After reading a few chapters on the practice and talking it through I decided maybe we should try it. After all, how bad could it be setting aside a day to just take naps, read, worry about nothing except how I'm going to spend time with my wife? And then some of the realizations hit me. We had laid down a few ground rules. No TV, no internet, nothing that would allow us to fill our time up but not force us to relax and let our brains de-stress. This is when it dawned on me the gravity of the situation. No TV I can do, but we're doing this on Sunday. Yes Sunday, the day the NFL plays. That would mean no football, no Bears, no Colts, and worse yet we weren't doing internet. I wouldn't even be able to keep up with games online, let alone check my fantasy football stats. Hmm. Now I'm not some crazy fantasy geek but football is one of the only sports I'll arrange my schedule to watch. Wasn't quite prepared for that. We came to a compromise. I would only pick one game a week to watch. It had to be chosen beforehand and if it didn't happen to be on cable, oh well. I didn't think too much about this as the Bears are a dumpster fire and the local team is almost as bad. I hadn't really been watching too much anyway. This was about two weeks ago. Before it occurred to me that not only the playoffs but the biggest game of the year was coming up. There's nothing like a little test just to see how committed you are. If I miss it though, I miss it. I'm not scrapping this thing just to watch grown men in tight spandex pants manhandle each other.
So despite my apprehensions, and there are some, I'm pretty excited about this. It will be interesting to see how it affects areas of our lives that we haven't even considered. It's daunting to think about how I now have one less day to get things done around the house, run errands etc. At the same time it's exciting to think that I now have an entire day that I have permission to read and nap. We'll see how long it takes to get rid of the guilt resulting from our protestant work ethic. This is going to be an interesting and rewarding journey.
So despite my apprehensions, and there are some, I'm pretty excited about this. It will be interesting to see how it affects areas of our lives that we haven't even considered. It's daunting to think about how I now have one less day to get things done around the house, run errands etc. At the same time it's exciting to think that I now have an entire day that I have permission to read and nap. We'll see how long it takes to get rid of the guilt resulting from our protestant work ethic. This is going to be an interesting and rewarding journey.
The Beginning: Mary
Don't you hate those books? You know, not the cozy books you snuggle with in your bed. Not the comical books which incite chuckles and giggles. Not the brainless books which are devoured in an hour. I'm talking about those books which cause tiny quakes in the earth beneath your feet. Your world shifts. Your heart breaks. Your eyes water. Your shame rises. And you know, you just know, you cannot remain the same after the turn of these pages. Well, one of those books is how this all started.
If you're wondering what this is, well so am I. Which is why I love journeys; you need nothing figured out except with whom you're journeying. And so I start, a step towards God, a step with my husband, all on this journey called A Year of Sabbaths. If you're wondering whether or not we are Jewish, I respond no. We are just two people trying, and failing, and trying some more, to give and receive God's love in a whirlwind of a life. It seems love is born of a restful heart, and well frankly, my heart is anything but. Hopefully I will say differently at the end of this year.
If you're curious as to the culprit book that got this party started, well it is entitled Sacred Rhythms (see my entry entitled Rest-Full Reads for a link to the book), but I have entitled it The Book That Started It All...Darn It. My best friend Tammy and I spent last year reading, discussing and trying to practice the spiritual disciplines described in this book. And while all along I was challenged and overwhelmed, something really snapped for me when I encountered chapter 8: "Sabbath: Establishing Rhythms of Rest and Work." And when I say snapped, I don't mean it in a negative way. I tend to be a reader, not a doer; snapping brings about change in my life. I'll save some discussion on what impacted me so much for a later entry, but for now I'll summarize by saying, "Uh-oh, things have to change."
And so here we are, January 9th, 2010. Tomorrow we practice our first intentional day of rest. Not rest as in sit-my-lazy-rear-in-front-of-the-TV-and-mentally-check-out (previous definition for me), but rest as in no technology, no participating in the American economy, no work, no activities which stress my heart, soul, and/or mind. I'll read my Bible. I'll journal. I'll spend time focused on Dave, instead of just with him. I'll read a book. I'll nap. I'll light a candle and just sit. I'll eat slowly, walk slowly, think slowly. I'll relax in our home and enjoy the sunshine that dances off the mountainsides. I'll enjoy a long walk, or run, or both, or none. I will NOT multi-task. I will not think about work. I will not relinquish power to the worries that be. They have crushing control in my life 6 days of the week, but no longer on this 7th day...the Sabbath.
If you're wondering what this is, well so am I. Which is why I love journeys; you need nothing figured out except with whom you're journeying. And so I start, a step towards God, a step with my husband, all on this journey called A Year of Sabbaths. If you're wondering whether or not we are Jewish, I respond no. We are just two people trying, and failing, and trying some more, to give and receive God's love in a whirlwind of a life. It seems love is born of a restful heart, and well frankly, my heart is anything but. Hopefully I will say differently at the end of this year.
If you're curious as to the culprit book that got this party started, well it is entitled Sacred Rhythms (see my entry entitled Rest-Full Reads for a link to the book), but I have entitled it The Book That Started It All...Darn It. My best friend Tammy and I spent last year reading, discussing and trying to practice the spiritual disciplines described in this book. And while all along I was challenged and overwhelmed, something really snapped for me when I encountered chapter 8: "Sabbath: Establishing Rhythms of Rest and Work." And when I say snapped, I don't mean it in a negative way. I tend to be a reader, not a doer; snapping brings about change in my life. I'll save some discussion on what impacted me so much for a later entry, but for now I'll summarize by saying, "Uh-oh, things have to change."
And so here we are, January 9th, 2010. Tomorrow we practice our first intentional day of rest. Not rest as in sit-my-lazy-rear-in-front-of-the-TV-and-mentally-check-out (previous definition for me), but rest as in no technology, no participating in the American economy, no work, no activities which stress my heart, soul, and/or mind. I'll read my Bible. I'll journal. I'll spend time focused on Dave, instead of just with him. I'll read a book. I'll nap. I'll light a candle and just sit. I'll eat slowly, walk slowly, think slowly. I'll relax in our home and enjoy the sunshine that dances off the mountainsides. I'll enjoy a long walk, or run, or both, or none. I will NOT multi-task. I will not think about work. I will not relinquish power to the worries that be. They have crushing control in my life 6 days of the week, but no longer on this 7th day...the Sabbath.
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